Don'tcha just -love- family gatherings in confined spaces?

O.O Ack. I am going to go insane.

I was just told that my two grandmas might be staying at the same B&B as my family for my half-brother's wedding next Saturday. They're family and I love 'em both, but this would probably mean that I have to share a room with them to save money. Normally, this wouldn't be that much of a problem, right?

One of them snores and the other is half deaf. >.< I am going to go insane.

This also means that -someone- is going to have to share another room with my brother. My teenage brother. ;.; Don't kill the messenger, babe.

I forgot to mention this earlier, but for anyone who cares, a black bear was shot and killed by Parks And Wildlife a few nights back because it was climbing fences and going through neighbor's trash bins. I was half awake and a block away in my bed when two gunshots gave me quite the rude awakening. Considering that I had no clue what was going on, my mind flicked to the fact that someone was killed near a school not too far from my house a few nights back. Interesting how my mind flicked to the worst automatically, but I don't think reality was that much better. My parents were out walking the dog. Freaked me a little.

Did a lot of writing today, and I was smart enough to bring my duotang home. On top of that, work seems to inspire me to draw a lot of TekMage sketches. I can rarely draw those guys anywhere else. Odd, that. Hopefully, page 5 will be scanned and colored today. I shall beat my procrastination with the baseball bat of progress. Or something.

...

I feel like going shopping. Or swordfighting. A lot. In a good way.

"For in this death of sleep..."

I could write about how I had a good day today.
I could write about how I might have found the perfect place for a second job.
I could write about how I found the perfect pair of black pants.

But no.

I won't.

Because something else is more important.

Remember in my last post, when I mentioned that there had been a murder recently? They arrested the guy that did it. They still won't say -how- he was killed, and I don't know anyone who recognized either name.
I read in the newspaper yesterday that it was suspected that the killer and victim knew each other. It didn't divulge in how well they knew each other, or if it was a friendly association.
I heard a rumor today that has crippled my opinion of humanity very greatly. Don't know if it's more than just a rumor, but the concept itself is just horrifying.

The younger man, only 19, was talking to the other, age 25, on ICQ. He confessed to the other that he was gay. The elder one asked to meet him by one of the middle schools later on. He agreed. He agreed, he went to meet him, and he was killed.

Why?

I ask this question to a deaf and blind society, content with he belief that what they say is right. I ask this to someone who could not accept someone else for who they were. I ask this even though I know that there will never be an answer. All there is is questions.

Why commit murder for someone else's choice?

Religious beliefs?
I have chosen not to be bound to the so called rules and collective beliefs of religion. Too many people hide behind a book when they say something is 'immoral' when they simply do not understand. If they cannot accept their fellow man, as so many claim to do, then they have no right to deem themselves 'holy' enough to be their judge.

Hatred?
If this person was your friend, if you knew him as 'one of the guys', if he hung around for you after work and went to the bar wih you and was a friend, how could they change so drastically that you would want to kill them? Why do so many people fear the happiness of others? Why can't they simply accept love in all of its forms? How can love between two people be 'wrong'?

Fear?

Why?

Questions without answers, and I worry how much longer a society like this will last. No, I am past worry. It is a resigned pity, sympathy for those who suffer from it. It makes me feel so tired, so sore, like my shoulders are breaking with the weight of trying to move on. And I'm only seventeen years old.

I could tell you about how much I wish the world could change.
I could tell you how much I want the world to wake up equal and happy and free from war and poverty and suffering and murder and pain and hate and fear and nights of not knowing where those gunshots came from ...
I could tell you how much my shoulders hurt, and how my mind feels so tired.

But I know better. Nothing will change.

'I know why you wanna hate me
I know why you wanna hate me
I know why you wanna hate me
Cause hate is all the world has even seen lately.'
-Limp Bizkit 'Take a Look Around'