7

Some days, all it takes is one little thing... one little slip to take your carefully salvaged confidence and just drive it into the ground to shatter. One slip of your own arrogance, one little flaw in your master plan, one overassumption that comes back to fuck you over.

It is little. And it is stupid. And you make a big fucking deal about it because all it takes is a grain of sand to get into your eye like a piece of glass and make you scream, and everyone else says that it isn't a big deal. They're right. It's just a grain of sand.

But it hurts. It hurts because you thought you were better, and you're really just a stupid kid in a big school surrounded by people who are smarter and richer and more deserving. You're surrounded by people who want to be doctors and scientists and people worth dollar signs. You're surrounded by people who know what they're doing.

It hurts because you've made the thought of failure hurt so bad for this very reason; so you don't get used to it. So you hate it. So it makes you cry like the child you are and realize how stupid you were for thinking anything different. So it dogs you through everything else you do, every test you write and every chance you have to fuck up and fail again.

So you slap scar tissue over the whole thing until it's numb, and you go on. You wrap yourself in a blanket, cry yourself dry, and go to bed. You let the pounding headache of stress fade away, because it'll get replaced soon enough. You get the fuck back up and remember how badly this hurt so you don't ever do it again, understand?

And by the way, you're supposed to go to a dentist's appointment and then have your birthday next week. Smile.

StalkerMeme!

I need a bit of a pick-me-up. I'm tired, cranky, behind on work, hating my job, shaking my fist at money, and dreading next week because I have a dentist's appointment and I have wisdom teeth that really should be called honorary tusks.

On the plus side, I have a Yuletide assignment that I know I can ace, and I had a great night's sleep. As something that I hope will continue in that vein, here's the Stalker Meme, taken from dhaunea. Points for accuracy, and points for making me laugh, even if it's as far from accuracy as you can get. Answers will be screened, so say whatever you want.

Might post some of the gold ones later.

(2 Points) My name:
(1 Point) My last name:
(5 Points) Take a stab at my middle name:
(3 Points) Who am I in love with:
(2 Points) Where did we meet:
(2 Points) What kind of car do I drive:
(2 Points) where do I work:
(3 Points) what am I afraid of:
(2 Points) Do I smoke:
(3 Points) Do I drink:
(2 Points) Do I have any siblings:
(2 Points) How many:
(1 Point) Do I like 'em:
(4 Points) What's one of my favorite things to do:
(2 Points) How many piercings do I have:
(3 Points) What's my favorite type of music:
(4 Points) Am I shy or outgoing:
(3 Points) Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:
(2 Points) what’s my favorite color:
(3 Points) name something I hate:
(4 Points) name a talent I have:
(4 Points) what kind of shoes do I wear:
(4 Points) do I have any pets:
(2 Points) Who am I dating right now, if I am:
(5 Points) how long have I been dating them, if I am:
(5 Points) what is the color of my room:
(5 Points) what is my worst habit:
(5 Points on creativeness) If I were stranded on a desert island, what would I bring: