I think too much ...

Note to self: This will be another Weekend From Hell(c).

I really should not have slept in till eleven this morning. I really should not have spent another hour rummaging through old stuff on the net. I should be having a shower, cleaning the house before my parents get home, working on my non-existent History report, working on my non-existent Media project, going to the college to work on more projects, and completing KT's wings ASAP.

But no, I haven't done that yet.

I started digging, going through old entries, old sites, old wounds.

You just couldn't leave it alone ... couldn't let the past stay where it was ...

I can't stand people who blatantly lie. The Net is just too easy a place to do so, and can't stand the fact that so many people take advantage of that. What's the point? Why be someone so false only to try and gain bits of attention from other liars. And it isn't even real attention; it's only an shred of text that has no proof. I started blipping through random diaries on TOD, finding a few that made me laugh and others that made me disgusted. There are some people there that lie about such obvious things as their gender, spinning false events in order to gain sympathy and envy. How might I know that these are not all real?

Because I'm not stupid. Because people can screw up. Lies are harder to maintain than truth, because you have no verification. If it didn't happen to you, you can forget things and accidently let information slip. You contradict yourself. You deny things that you wrote earlier.

Continuity's a bitch ...

That's why I'm very distrustful of online relationships. Yes, there's been some shining examples (I read about a married couple who met through Ultima Online), but it's risky.

I think it's very sad when you see an online friend an you have to think, "Okay, who do they know me as? Who am I in this world?"

Why do some people lose themselves so deeply in RolePlay? Why do they create so many dozns of masks to hide behind? Do they hate who they are? Do they hate the people that know them in their 'real' life, and they want to hide? Do they think that -this- is their real life?

Do they need reality to bitch-slap them up the head ?

For that reson, I hardly ever watch the diaries of people I don't actually know. 70% of my LJ Friends are real face-to-face acquaintances. LJ is my way of keeping in touch with people I don't get to see every day.

But even then ... they can lie ...

I was looking back to around April and June ... even last December ... remembering things. My mother has a real problem with me posting things here, saying that not only is it dangerous, but that the rest of the word has no right to this much insight on my life.

The only difference if I wrote an autobiography is that I would leave -nothing- out. And I'd get paid.

I know that there are some things that should not be shared, I'm not an idiot. I know that people I know read this journal, and perhaps they don't need or want to know some of these things about me, but it is their choice to read. Still, with that in mind, there are some things that should not be revealed via Net. Computers are emotionless masks. They hide you too well.

To leave insulting notes with bad grammar and no signature? Tacky and just plain dumb.
To gush -personal- secrets in a public place where people know your face? Stupid.
To break up with someone through an email? Cowardly.

To manipulate the emotions of others with lies and blatant condemnation? Unforgivable.

The real world is scary enough. We don't need a virtual one to screw us up even more. Computers are a tool, the Net is a service. They are not your life, your lifeblood, or you.

Wake up.

I am such a hypocrite...

( Procrastination ... commence! )

Now, to WORK!