Welcome to Abby - RP App
May. 24th, 2009 05:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
urbanamazon“What do you mean, ‘how did I get past the perimeter?’ I haven’t got through yet. You guys are the perimeter. I was just dropped off here at the perimeter. I have enough official permits and passes in both hands to help you make a perimeter around your perimeter. If I had been past your perimeter without these passes, I think I would have remembered it and come back… possibly glowing green.” Said documents were splayed out in indicated order with one black-fingernailed hand, while its counterpart grasped the parasol handle with the wringing grip of the deeply annoyed. “If you’re trying to be a fortune-teller, it’s not nearly as funny when I had to wait three weeks to get cleared to even see your perimeter.”
The guard didn’t exactly seem convinced. His eyes lingered on the bold makeup, the tattoo creeping up over the jacket collar, the braided pigtails, the spiked bracelet around the hand thrusting out Navy-stamped permits and authorized signatures, and the flame-decaled platform boots trying not to tap impatience against the cement floor. On the way back up, they lingered on the large stuffed hippo guarding the suitcase at the young woman’s side.
She was glaring.
“I will ask again, miss-”
“If you’re going to call me ‘miss’, then you could at least say my name afterward and be polite.”
“-Miss Scutio, how did you get past the perimeter? It is a serious question.”
“It’s a ludicrous question.” Abby dug for her phone in her purse. “And repeating the same question over and over and expecting a new answer is the definition of insanity, except for when it’s used in interrogation rooms. What is the point of asking for references on the application form if you don’t call them to confirm they’re from this dimension?”
“Miss Scutio, I did read your application, and the names you listed are rather… far-fetched.”
“They’re also on my speed-dial.”
“Miss Scutio, this isn’t a situation to be flippant-“
“This is me at my most anti-flipped. I have four forms of ID, signed affidavits of my degrees, my clearances, my resume, my health and dental records, my recommendations, my applications, my proposed thesis, my funding information, my residence confirmation, my luggage detail list, my vaccinations, my insurance, my certifications, and my waiver.” Each piece was laid out in order, colour-coordinated and dotted with stamps, dates, signatures, and seals. “The only thing I don’t have is caffeine, because I ran out waiting two hours ago. I can’t flip these, and I mean that in every implied sense of the word that you’re suspecting me of, which is just rude. And I would know what you know, and you should know, because it’s stated in my resume that you read. Three times.”
“Miss Scutio, you’re certainly rational enough to understand that in my position, I have to be extremely discriminating in the process of admitting people into the city. I have to be logical. I have to be clear. I can assure you that I haven’t left out any detail of your application and material in bringing myself to this point where I feel I have to ask you, very seriously, how did you get past the perimeter?”
The dangerously long pause ended with the jabber of rushed numbers on the cell phone’s speed-dial, and it howled reassuring Android Lust into Abby’s ear as she waited for the other end to pick up. The base was easily far enough away from the city to get a decent, clear signal, and she glowered at the officer across the desk with every stretching second. “Gibbs? They think I’m an illegal alien.” A pause. “I heard that, Tony.” The sound of a hand hitting the back of a head was audible even through the phone.
The guard certainly didn’t look impressed yet.
“Thank you, Ziva! Yes, Gibbs, I did. Yes. Three times. I know. Well, it was either you or the nuns, and they had a hard enough time losing me from bowling as it is. Two hours ago, why? Of course Bert’s here with me, I couldn’t leave him behind and let him miss an opportunity like this. Even if McGee w- Oh. Ohhh. She’s- Director! Who taught you that word? I’m pretty sure they won’t let me in if I say that. Oh. Couldn’t hurt.”
The phone was politely covered and offered forward across the desk with a sweet and triumphant smile. “It’s for you.”
The guard didn’t exactly seem convinced. His eyes lingered on the bold makeup, the tattoo creeping up over the jacket collar, the braided pigtails, the spiked bracelet around the hand thrusting out Navy-stamped permits and authorized signatures, and the flame-decaled platform boots trying not to tap impatience against the cement floor. On the way back up, they lingered on the large stuffed hippo guarding the suitcase at the young woman’s side.
She was glaring.
“I will ask again, miss-”
“If you’re going to call me ‘miss’, then you could at least say my name afterward and be polite.”
“-Miss Scutio, how did you get past the perimeter? It is a serious question.”
“It’s a ludicrous question.” Abby dug for her phone in her purse. “And repeating the same question over and over and expecting a new answer is the definition of insanity, except for when it’s used in interrogation rooms. What is the point of asking for references on the application form if you don’t call them to confirm they’re from this dimension?”
“Miss Scutio, I did read your application, and the names you listed are rather… far-fetched.”
“They’re also on my speed-dial.”
“Miss Scutio, this isn’t a situation to be flippant-“
“This is me at my most anti-flipped. I have four forms of ID, signed affidavits of my degrees, my clearances, my resume, my health and dental records, my recommendations, my applications, my proposed thesis, my funding information, my residence confirmation, my luggage detail list, my vaccinations, my insurance, my certifications, and my waiver.” Each piece was laid out in order, colour-coordinated and dotted with stamps, dates, signatures, and seals. “The only thing I don’t have is caffeine, because I ran out waiting two hours ago. I can’t flip these, and I mean that in every implied sense of the word that you’re suspecting me of, which is just rude. And I would know what you know, and you should know, because it’s stated in my resume that you read. Three times.”
“Miss Scutio, you’re certainly rational enough to understand that in my position, I have to be extremely discriminating in the process of admitting people into the city. I have to be logical. I have to be clear. I can assure you that I haven’t left out any detail of your application and material in bringing myself to this point where I feel I have to ask you, very seriously, how did you get past the perimeter?”
The dangerously long pause ended with the jabber of rushed numbers on the cell phone’s speed-dial, and it howled reassuring Android Lust into Abby’s ear as she waited for the other end to pick up. The base was easily far enough away from the city to get a decent, clear signal, and she glowered at the officer across the desk with every stretching second. “Gibbs? They think I’m an illegal alien.” A pause. “I heard that, Tony.” The sound of a hand hitting the back of a head was audible even through the phone.
The guard certainly didn’t look impressed yet.
“Thank you, Ziva! Yes, Gibbs, I did. Yes. Three times. I know. Well, it was either you or the nuns, and they had a hard enough time losing me from bowling as it is. Two hours ago, why? Of course Bert’s here with me, I couldn’t leave him behind and let him miss an opportunity like this. Even if McGee w- Oh. Ohhh. She’s- Director! Who taught you that word? I’m pretty sure they won’t let me in if I say that. Oh. Couldn’t hurt.”
The phone was politely covered and offered forward across the desk with a sweet and triumphant smile. “It’s for you.”